"Every Breath, A Prayer"

When I was very young, my mother sent me to a Baptist church to be a part of ‘Girls Auxiliary’. My memories are quite vague of those times. Only the fears of the unknowns and of being made to speak aloud are still very clear to me. I do remember that we sat in a circle and opened each meeting with sentence-prayers of thankfulness. That was a great source of anxiety for me. I wasn’t sure where my thankfulnesses were hiding but I did know that the words for just one sentence were hiding with them. So, I came up with the words “thank you for the trees” and repeated that one sentence at the opening of each meeting. I was indeed thankful for the trees, one in particular, that had a most perfect branch for sitting … and hiding … and peering out into the world so that I might see but not be seen. Yes, “thank you for the trees” seemed just the right sentence-prayer for me until, at one meeting, a friend of mine decided to use those words as HER sentence-prayer. There was no other sentence-prayer, no other words of thankfulness, that I could find within me at such short notice, so I quietly said, “Pass.” At that moment, I wished that the floor would have broken apart and swallowed me. Eyes opened and all heads turned toward me.

Life has changed for me. I am not quite as fear-filled (but I do still struggle with praying out loud on a moment’s notice). There are times when I find refuge apart from others and, once again, “thank you for the trees” seems to be an appropriate prayer. I have found that in these days of November, when others were posting on Facebook their ‘Daily Thanksgiving’, I was transported back to the circle of little girls, wondering why I couldn’t put into words just one day’s worth of thanksgivings.

It is in this wondering, in my questioning, in my seeking for words of thanksgivings when I realize that every single breath I take is a perfectly worded prayer to my LORD. There are no stares from others, for the words are there as I inhale. There are no giggles directed my way, for my thankfulness exhales to the One who cherished the few words that I could find to pray as a child and who places an overabundance of them within me now. I inhale God's Great Love and exhale my love in return. I inhale grace and exhale praise.

Inhale … Exhale … Every breath, a prayer of thanksgiving.