"What Do I Want For Christmas?

(Please read Luke 2:8-20)

Each year, my family insists that we spend some time making our Christmas lists so that the lists might be shared with each other.  I always have a difficult time with this.  My needs are very practical and not very “Christmasy”.  What I want for Christmas is much different than what any one family member can give to me.  You see, I want to be one of the shepherds!

What do I want for Christmas?  In the midst of what is usually a very predictable Christmas for me, I want to be surprised by angelic announcements.  I want just a glimpse of the glory of the Lord on this silent, familiar-story sort of a night.  I want to be calmed by “fear not’s”.  I want to find myself holding my breath for a moment at the sounds of a heavenly-host chorus.  I want to be one of the shepherds!

What do I want for Christmas?  I want to hurry to Bethlehem, running down the hillside much like I remember doing as a child.  I want to risk running so fast that my feet might outrun my body … running, tumbling, picking myself up and running once more.  Yes, I want to hurry to Bethlehem with spontaneity and anticipation to see the One whose birth the angels sing. I want to be one of the shepherds!

What do I want for Christmas?  I want to kneel at the manger and realize that God has brought me to this place and has asked me to soak in the sights, the smells, the night air, the infant cries, the faithful parents and that first birth announcement.  I want to kneel for a moment in awe, wonder and recognition that God’s long-awaited Promise is before me.  I want to be overwhelmed by God’s love.  I want to squint at the Light that has come into this dark world.  I want to be lost in the wonder of it all.  I want to whisper, “Immanuel” and hear God whisper back, “Yes, I am with you.”  I want to sigh a relieved sigh at this news.  I want to be one of the shepherds!

What do I want for Christmas?  I know that I must return to my “hillside” … to my job and my routines.  But I want to return from looking heavenward, from running to the manger, from kneeling at just the thoughts of being in the presence of the long-awaited Messiah to a different sameness.  I want to return to my world, to my hillside, glorifying and praising God for all things that I have seen and heard.  I want to be so taken aback by it all that I can’t help but share what I know with others.  I want to be one of the shepherds!

What do I want for Christmas?  I want company on the hillside on this most holy of nights.  I want other shepherds with me, privy to the angelic announcement, being offered a glimpse of the glory of the Lord and running toward the manger with me.  I want to kneel with others in prayer and praise and wonder and know that this “Promise Kept” is not just for me but for all.  I want to walk back to our hillsides together, changed forever.  

What do I want for Christmas?  I want to be a shepherd and I would like the company of you!

anna murdock

(“What Do I Want for Christmas?” written December 18, 2006)

Broad Street UMC / Statesville, NC

 Postscript to “What Do I Want for Christmas?” ….

Writing and sharing our words is a bit risky!  Often it is I who becomes a better person as readers share with me their thoughts in response to my offerings.  Just after sending out “What Do I Want for Christmas?”, I received an e-mail from an elderly man named Ralph.  I will always remember Ralph’s response for he has asked me to become more than a shepherd.  He was so excited at the thoughts of being a shepherd with me, but he needed to ask a question first.  “Anna, are you willing to help me?”

Here is what Ralph had to say in response to “What Do I Want for Christmas” …

“Anna, I want to be a shepherd too.  I want to go to the manger with you.  But I wonder if you would be willing to help me down the hillside.  You see, I am confined to a wheelchair.”  

I immediately answered Ralph … “Of course, I will.  It would be my honor. I would love to push you down the hillside with me, two shepherds on the way to the manger.”  It was then when Ralph taught me a great lesson.   “Anna, you don’t understand.  You can’t push me down a hillside.  Hitting any stone or any bump will cause me to fall out of my wheelchair if you push me.  You will have to slowly pull me backwards.  I still want to be a shepherd.  I still want to go down the Bethlehem hillside to the manger with you.  Are you STILL willing to help me, knowing this?”

I am so thankful for Ralph’s e-mail.  He has asked me to go to the manger with him as a shepherd, but return to my life and my world as a committed, trusting, willing disciple.  Perhaps he didn’t know this, but he did.  He has reminded me that discipleship will not always be easy.  Ralph has asked me for a response … yes or no.  For this, I say “thank you” and I say “yes.”

There is a point in our lives when Jesus looks into the eyes and hearts of each of us and says, “Knowing these things, knowing the costliness of picking up my cross daily and following me, are you STILL willing?  Yes or No.”