"Gone Fishing"

Please read John 21:1-19
Lectionary Scriptures Easter 3-C

This week has been a strange one for me. This is the first time since I began to write weekly devotions in 2001 that a Scripture has weighed so heavily on me that it became impossible to choose other verses, yet at the same time, the words would not flow from heart to page. I was so tempted to simply e-mail you with the words “GONE FISHING" or "GONE FISHING. WILL BE BACK SOON" or maybe even "GONE FISHING. WILL BE BACK AFTER BREAKFAST" and leave it at that.

I had read the Scriptures over and over again. What I have wanted to share was trying its best to flow in poetry form and yet didn't. I tried to write in prose, and couldn't. Each time I read "Feed my sheep", tears welled up in my eyes. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday came and went. So what am I to do? This morning I realized that I am to share the best that I can even if it is Thursday evening.

It seems that this quietness of mine had a lot to do with the glow of a charcoal bonfire, the smell of the smoke and the eye contact between a disciple and Jesus. Not along a lakeshore as in these Scriptures, but in a courtyard. Surely the bonfire, the smell, the eye contact made with Jesus along the lakeshore transported Peter back to his three denials. I felt for him and quite possibly even for me.

In this moment when Jesus sought Peter out and invited the disciples to breakfast, I have seen myself this week with bread in one hand and reaching out to receive a piece of fish from Jesus. Sitting with the disciples, with the warmth of the bonfire on my own face, I have remembered my own goof-ups and misspoken words and suddenly realize that Jesus loved me through them, time and time again. I have remembered denials and omissions, and have sensed this breakfast prepared on the edge of what is comfortable and familiar and safe to me (as it was to Peter) is Jesus' way of pursuing us in spite of such things. I have heard, "Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep" and "Do you love me?” and the tears have flowed. This is what has slowed my words for the week. After Jesus loving Peter (and me) through goof-ups, after pursuing Peter (and me) through omissions, after raising a shamed head at a sunrise breakfast invitation and at the very place where Peter (and I) find it easy to climb back into a comfortable, safe and familiar box (or boat), Jesus gives great affirmation to what Peter is called to do as a disciple on earth.

And what about me? What about you? What about others? This would be the most "delicious" breakfast ever, for any one of us, when all of the puzzle pieces fall into place and we recognize what Jesus is doing. Jesus LOVES us even in our Peter-like responses. He PURSUES us even after omissions. He gives AFFIRMATION in our calling (whatever shape that puzzle piece might be).

Listen to the words spoken at this breakfast. Listen as if Jesus speaks them directly to you. “Do you love me? Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep. Follow me.” We are made whole once more and sent out to feed and tend in Jesus’ name.

God of mercy and grace … When we put up a “Gone Fishing” sign, you meet us at the lakeshore and point to the school of fish. When we can only see a bonfire that flickers with shameful memories, you invite us to breakfast around a new bonfire. You raise our heads so that our faces might reflect your Light. When our last memories of eye contact were that of omission and denial, you ask us to look into your eyes once more … and we now see love and forgiveness. When we hunger to be the disciples you have called us to be, you hand us bread and fish and affirm our callings. And when we struggle with words of love for you, you help us form the words. O God, thank you for this great breakfast. Amen

anna