Wednesday, February 24, 2016

"Plant Deep and Water Often"


The instructions were clear and exact from the elderly gentleman who gave what looked to be a dead stick to my mother.  He asked a question that seemed puzzling at first… “How big is your backyard?” Then he held out his hand and offered to her the twig wrapped in a bit of newspaper.  “Plant it deep and water it often,” he said.  Those were his complete instructions for what he trusted would grow into a fig tree.  I laughed at the thought of this precious gift of a twig from his own fig tree being handed over to my mother (who is very definitely not a gardener!) and to be honest with you, I shook my head at the thoughts that it would ever show signs of life.  But as my mother re-tells the story each season and I listen once again, we both realize that there was no question in the mind of the one who offered this gift to her.  He had complete faith that this seemingly dead twig would grow into a fine fig tree that would need a lot of backyard.

But there is more to the story….more to the miracle of its survival and to the harvest of its fruit.  The twig was offered at the onslaught of one of the worst droughts that seemed to hovered over the area. “Plant it deep and water it often.”  It was difficult to be obedient to the instructions of this gift-giver in the face of mandatory water restrictions.  No watering lawns.  No washing cars. Use water sparingly indoors.  In light of all of the restrictions, my mother still planted what looked to be just a dead twig.  A bowl was kept in her sink that caught any water that would have gone down the drain. She washed her hands over the bowl.  She emptied the juice from cans of vegetables into this bowl. Any saved liquid was carried out to water this little twig.  In her obedience, she found many ways to water it often, as she was told to do.  The twig began to show signs of life.  Leaves sprouted.  It grew taller.  At the signs of its first fruits, my mother rejoiced.   Now look at the tree!  Beautiful. Strong. Filled with fruit that will most certainly be given to others.

There is truly much to be learned in this fig tree and that is why I don’t mind listening to the story of the tree’s beginnings once again. The words of the gift-giver tell it all, don’t they?   “How big is your backyard” or perhaps better asked…”How big is your God?”  This is a parable of faith… of “being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1).  It is a lesson of trusting the One who is completely trustworthy and whose promises always accompany commands.  It is a reminder that obedience to God often includes times of testing… but obedience always produces great fruit.

Think on these words of the gift-giver.  “How big is your backyard? (How big is your God?)   Plant deep and water often.”   May you see in this week, God’s great certainties in what once seemed your very small possibilities.  And may you be reminded that in your faith, trust and obedience, you will most certainly see the promises of God come to fruition.  “Plant deep, water often…and bear fruit!"

Friday, February 12, 2016

"It Is My Wilderness, Not Yours"


It has been my wilderness ...
  a place to which I was led.
My wilderness, not yours.

It has been my 'forty days'...
yes, my 'forty days' and not yours
    to endure and to seek,
    to trust and to pray,
    to be surrounded by
       very tending angels.

It has been my aloneness,
    and wilderness and 'forty days'.
I wouldn't want this for you,
   yet I would hope that
   you might allow it
      if and when it comes ...
      for there is a Holy Presence there.

 The wilderness was born
    out of a great silence
    that hoped for a glimpse
    of God in worship
    when all others around me
    were following their worship bulletins
      so carefully ... so dutifully ...
      so worshipfully ... so very well.

It has been my wilderness, not yours.
    It is I who sang the hymns,
          with parched lips.
    It is I who reached out for the morsels
       that the Spirit handed to me
       when I was so malnourished.

It has been my wilderness, not yours.
It is I who listened for shouts
   and heard holy whispers.
I ask that you don't say that you know best
      which cross I should choose,
      but consider my steeped-in-prayer "NO"
      as valid of an answer as a "YES".

It is my response to God to live into,
   not yours to discourage.
The words, "Get thee behind me...."
  are on my lips, on guard and ready
  for one more attempt
  to change my mind ...
     to change this direction.

O God, how do I tell them
  that the cross I have just put down
  was what you asked of me then ...
  and that which I have just picked up
  is what you ask of me now?

When I prayed for words from you,
   you gave me sight!
You pointed to the wooden cross
   so familiar to me in the moments
   of my every-day.

Has this cross stood tall for years,
   on this busy corner along my way,
   on the front lawn of the church
   in my neighborhood,
   subject to the elements,
   for a time such as this?

I have looked its way,
   every day of every month
   and have given thanks
   for forgiveness and grace.
Yet, this day you spoke to me
  through this weathered cross
  in a different way.
How wonderful are your thoughts, O God!

When was the old cross-piece
   replaced by the new one?
It is so noticeable,
   so different from the vertical piece.
Freshly cut wood.  Caramel in color.
Nailed to a grey, weathered piece of wood.
There is such a stark contrast
   and in that, you speak to me!

You have given me words in this sight!
Words of newness in the same wooden cross.
You have asked me to share
  with those who say "NO",
  that it is good and right
  to put down the old sameness
  of the cross I once picked up
  and pick up another cross,
  nailed together with a newness,
  and pieced together by you.

It was my wilderness, not theirs ...
... my 'forty days', not theirs,
... my aloneness, not theirs,
... my seeking, not theirs,
... your leading, not theirs,
... my cross, not theirs;
        my cross
          that you so wonderfully
          pieced together with a newness
          and commanded me
          to pick up.

Holy One, you are in it all
   and in that, I do trust
   these unknown steps.

Amen.


Thursday, February 11, 2016

"Begin Here and Now"



A journal with a smudge as its first entry … a smudge from the unmistakable and sooty cross drawn on my forehead this Ash Wednesday.  A journal with a smudge as its first entry … a smudge from the unmistakable and sooty cross drawn on my forehead this Ash Wednesday.

It is the fresh page as if it happened to be the first day of my life.  It will become the place where transgressions will be scribbled with a shaky hand, where hopes for a clean slate will be whispered, where written prayers find a home and where deafening silences become spaces of purpose.
 
A smudge of a cross on a page, saying to me, “Begin here and now.” Such is the beginning of these 40 days of Lent.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

"Here I Am, Such As I Am"



Here I am, such as I am …
Imperfect.
Weak.
Broken.
In need of forgiveness.
In need of your Presence.

Here I am, such as I am …
Confessing.
Repentant.
Hopeful.
Listening.

Here I am, such as I am …
Willing to be melted
and molded.
Wanting a newly-created
pure heart.

Here I am, such as I am …
Branded with a mark –
Your unmistakable mark.

Lead me, O God …
walk with me 
in these 40 days. 

Amen.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

"This is Our Tomorrow" (the day before Ash Wednesday)



I realize that I have shared this in years past, but" this is our tomorrow" ... each and every year. Blessings as you prepare for Ash Wednesday and for these 40 days of Lent.   anna


Neglected,
it rests on the corner,
visible to all,
yet ignored by most …
it has been empty
far too long.

This morning,
this day before 
Ash Wednesday,
the front of the building
has been painted 
a brilliant white
and the windows
on each side 
of the entrance door
are now adorned 
with new, royal blue awnings.

Yet the “For Sale” sign
is still posted,
weather-worn
from the years 
of begging 
and pleading
for someone to look…
just look and consider
the property’s value.

If one dares 
to look closer,
beyond the brilliant white paint
and the royal blue awnings,
the other sides 
of the building can be seen.
Three other sides …
a dingy beige
with peeling paint 
and windows broken
by those who think nothing
of doing damage 
to something that is not theirs.

The flat roof
can no longer withstand
the weight of
years of debris
or torrential rains
that only accumulate 
and puddle 
in its flatness.

The property is
overgrown with weeds
and littered by those things
that others have so carelessly
and thoughtlessly
thrown its way.

What are we to think
of an appealing façade
of fresh paint 
and new awnings?
What are we to think 
of neglect 
and damage … 
of brokenness 
and litter …
of weeds 
and debris
and puddles?

Perhaps this is exactly
what we will bring with us
tomorrow … 
on this day we call
Ash Wednesday.
We bring with us
freshly painted facades 
and new awnings,
hoping beyond hope 
that those around us
will not see the 
neglect and damage,
the brokenness and litter,
the weeds and shattered hearts.

The black soot 
marks our façade
with a cross …
and the ash 
falls onto our awnings.
The difficult admission 
that there are
other sides to be seen
are whispered in prayer
and are heard by the One 
who has clearly seen 
all four sides
of each of us.

This is our tomorrow.


Holy God,
we come to you 
in need of repair …
not in part,
but throughout 
our whole being.

Create in us
a newness in our days,
a wholeness and healing through you,
a purpose in your kingdom,
hope in your love
and a pure heart before you.

Amen.

© 2013  anna murdock

Monday, February 1, 2016

"Changes From the Glimpse of Glory"


I often spell my name
‘anna’,
in lower-case letters
for reasons
that have been
humbling
and focused
and yet, at times,
a little uncertain
in the journey.

But there are
other days when
‘Anna’ is
wanted
and felt
as I walk
along the way
with a little more
confidence
and more awareness
of God’s Presence,
just waiting
to blind me
with surprises.

Always,
I am reminded,
that I am
‘ANNA’ …
greatly beloved,
written in letters
formed by God
with the flourish
of  grace and mercy…
made bold
by the Holy Spirit…
capitalized by Jesus’
call to discipleship.
.
But there is one 
who reminds me
that my name
is also spelled
‘aNNa’
as one who lingered
at the foot of the mountain
perhaps a little too long …
as one who has
climbed up to the
top of the mountain …
as one who has
seen the smallest portion
of the Glory of God …
as one who has heard
“Shhh.  Listen!
This is my Son, the Beloved” …
and as one
who has been
sent back down
from the mountaintop
as anna
and Anna
and ANNA!